1 00:00:02,700 --> 00:00:04,925 I got to tell you, the more I read about the primordial 2 00:00:04,944 --> 00:00:07,634 gravity wave discovery, the more excited I get. 3 00:00:07,653 --> 00:00:11,123 I know. Being an astrophysicist right now is like being a rock star. 4 00:00:11,142 --> 00:00:13,399 Only without the sex. 5 00:00:14,401 --> 00:00:16,886 Yeah, literally, none of it. 6 00:00:17,778 --> 00:00:19,611 What do you think about it, Sheldon? 7 00:00:19,641 --> 00:00:21,127 Meh. 8 00:00:21,916 --> 00:00:23,043 Are you kidding me? 9 00:00:23,062 --> 00:00:26,298 This may be the biggest scientific breakthrough of our lifetime. 10 00:00:26,323 --> 00:00:29,823 How can you, as a theoretical physicist, not care about this? 11 00:00:29,849 --> 00:00:32,056 Maybe it's because I'm not an elitist. 12 00:00:32,082 --> 00:00:33,529 What I'd like to know is: 13 00:00:33,541 --> 00:00:36,620 How does this gravity wave breakthrough help the man on the street? 14 00:00:36,633 --> 00:00:38,080 You know? Wh-Who's looking out 15 00:00:38,100 --> 00:00:41,863 for Joe Six-Pack and all his quantum physics concerns? 16 00:00:42,497 --> 00:00:44,784 Oh, my God, you're jealous. 17 00:00:44,803 --> 00:00:46,126 Why would I be jealous? 18 00:00:46,153 --> 00:00:50,232 Oh, I don't know. Maybe because the origin of the universe just got proven, 19 00:00:50,251 --> 00:00:51,805 the Higgs field just got proven 20 00:00:51,824 --> 00:00:53,318 and you've been working on string theory 21 00:00:53,345 --> 00:00:57,647 for the last 20 years and you're no closer to proving it than when you started. 22 00:00:58,325 --> 00:01:01,404 Yeah, well, I've had a lot on my plate. 23 00:01:01,429 --> 00:01:04,273 We happen to live in a golden age of television. 24 00:01:05,344 --> 00:01:06,845 Excuse me, fellas. 25 00:01:06,866 --> 00:01:07,551 (groans) 26 00:01:07,571 --> 00:01:09,801 Sorry for eavesdropping, but there actually was 27 00:01:09,814 --> 00:01:13,173 some big string theory news today out of the Hadron Collider. 28 00:01:13,188 --> 00:01:17,211 Really? Did they find evidence to support extra dimensions or supersymmetry? 29 00:01:17,237 --> 00:01:20,487 No, but they did find evidence that you'll believe anything. 30 00:01:20,502 --> 00:01:22,239 (laughs) 31 00:01:23,036 --> 00:01:24,736 Why would you do that? 32 00:01:24,759 --> 00:01:29,860 - You're a string theorist as well. - Incorrect. I am a string pragmatist. 33 00:01:29,876 --> 00:01:33,283 I say I'm gonna prove something that cannot be proved, I apply for grant money, 34 00:01:33,302 --> 00:01:36,066 and then I spend it on liquor and broads. 35 00:01:36,903 --> 00:01:38,924 Later. 36 00:01:40,702 --> 00:01:43,075 Do you think he's right? 37 00:01:43,101 --> 00:01:47,766 Am I wasting my life on a theory that can never be proven? 38 00:01:49,977 --> 00:01:53,050 Maybe. But how great is Game of Thrones? 39 00:01:53,789 --> 00:01:57,194 ♪ Our whole universe was in a hot, dense state ♪ 40 00:01:57,214 --> 00:02:01,048 ♪ Then nearly 14 billion years ago expansion started... Wait! ♪ 41 00:02:01,075 --> 00:02:02,369 ♪ The Earth began to cool ♪ 42 00:02:02,389 --> 00:02:05,279 ♪ The autotrophs began to drool, Neanderthals developed tools ♪ 43 00:02:05,306 --> 00:02:07,326 ♪ We built the Wall ♪ ♪ We built the pyramids ♪ 44 00:02:07,352 --> 00:02:10,114 ♪ Math, Science, History, unraveling the mystery ♪ 45 00:02:10,127 --> 00:02:12,214 ♪ That all started with a big bang ♪ 46 00:02:12,233 --> 00:02:13,405 ♪ Bang! ♪ 47 00:02:13,434 --> 00:02:16,034 ♪ The Big Bang Theory 7x20 ♪ The Relationship Diremption Original Air Date on April 10 48 00:02:16,047 --> 00:02:18,647 == sync, corrected by elderman == @elder_man Resync for WEB-DL by Norther 49 00:02:21,985 --> 00:02:24,145 Hey, you're up early. 50 00:02:24,168 --> 00:02:25,208 I couldn't sleep. 51 00:02:25,221 --> 00:02:29,214 I told you those Walking Dead pillowcases were a bad idea. 52 00:02:30,040 --> 00:02:32,040 No, that's not it. 53 00:02:32,067 --> 00:02:33,700 Is something bothering you? 54 00:02:33,706 --> 00:02:36,433 Yes, but you wouldn't understand. 55 00:02:36,452 --> 00:02:39,121 Oh, come on, try me. 56 00:02:39,621 --> 00:02:41,694 All right. 57 00:02:43,726 --> 00:02:46,636 I've devoted the prime of my life to string theory 58 00:02:46,649 --> 00:02:50,203 and its quest for the compactification of extra dimensions. 59 00:02:50,229 --> 00:02:53,844 I've got nothing to show for it, and I feel like a fool. 60 00:02:54,804 --> 00:02:56,577 Okay. I get it. 61 00:02:56,597 --> 00:02:59,593 I mean, not all the jibberjabber in the middle, but... 62 00:03:00,736 --> 00:03:02,870 I know what it's like to put your heart and soul into something 63 00:03:02,890 --> 00:03:04,877 and get nothing out of it. 64 00:03:04,909 --> 00:03:07,018 You mean your acting career? 65 00:03:08,737 --> 00:03:09,744 No. 66 00:03:09,773 --> 00:03:12,100 Your relationship with Leonard? 67 00:03:13,189 --> 00:03:14,216 No. 68 00:03:14,231 --> 00:03:17,174 - Your failed attempt to go back to college? - No! 69 00:03:17,774 --> 00:03:20,421 I'm saying you and string theory sound like a relationship, 70 00:03:20,428 --> 00:03:21,734 and I know what it's like to be in one 71 00:03:21,754 --> 00:03:25,159 and realize it's never gonna turn out the way you want. 72 00:03:25,188 --> 00:03:27,657 I said Leonard; You said no. 73 00:03:28,352 --> 00:03:31,079 I'm talking about other guys. 74 00:03:31,094 --> 00:03:32,352 Okay. 75 00:03:32,370 --> 00:03:34,792 Well, what do you do? 76 00:03:34,818 --> 00:03:37,245 (sighs) You have to have the courage to end the relationship. 77 00:03:37,274 --> 00:03:40,465 You know? Break it off, shake hands, walk away. 78 00:03:40,496 --> 00:03:41,911 (sighs) 79 00:03:41,937 --> 00:03:43,984 I don't know if I can do that. 80 00:03:44,011 --> 00:03:47,235 I know it's hard, honey, but in the end, that's how you grow. 81 00:03:47,263 --> 00:03:49,797 (Leonard loudly blowing nose) 82 00:03:51,834 --> 00:03:54,775 Penny, have you seen my good inhaler? 83 00:03:56,673 --> 00:03:59,448 Break it off, shake hands, walk away. 84 00:03:59,976 --> 00:04:02,408 (blows loudly) 85 00:04:04,420 --> 00:04:07,060 Hey, how's dating two women going? 86 00:04:07,073 --> 00:04:09,404 Um, kind of hit a bump. 87 00:04:09,425 --> 00:04:12,099 When I was honest and told Emily she wasn't the only person 88 00:04:12,105 --> 00:04:15,706 I was seeing, it went great. So I tried the same thing with Lucy. 89 00:04:15,726 --> 00:04:16,629 And? 90 00:04:16,648 --> 00:04:19,273 She had mixed feelings. 91 00:04:20,203 --> 00:04:22,073 But when I said, "Emily was cool with it. 92 00:04:22,100 --> 00:04:25,251 Emily's the best. Why can't you be more like Emily?"... 93 00:04:26,756 --> 00:04:29,765 ...those feelings became less mixed. 94 00:04:31,886 --> 00:04:35,069 Women. Who knows what'll set 'em off? 95 00:04:35,872 --> 00:04:38,595 At least now I can focus all my energies on just one girl. 96 00:04:38,614 --> 00:04:40,702 I hope I get to meet her as soon as possible. 97 00:04:40,708 --> 00:04:42,275 Why the rush? She isn't going anywhere. 98 00:04:42,301 --> 00:04:45,035 (chuckles) She is. But I like that attitude. 99 00:04:46,416 --> 00:04:50,793 Gentlemen, is anybody interested in my old string theory books? 100 00:04:50,806 --> 00:04:52,553 You're really going to do this? 101 00:04:52,573 --> 00:04:57,348 I am. Yeah, Penny pointed out that what I'm going through is essentially a breakup. 102 00:04:57,361 --> 00:05:00,469 And according to Cosmopolitan magazine, 103 00:05:00,496 --> 00:05:02,749 one of the most effective techniques for moving on 104 00:05:02,768 --> 00:05:05,618 is to get rid of all reminders of the relationship. 105 00:05:05,638 --> 00:05:07,671 - You're reading Cosmo? - Yes. 106 00:05:07,691 --> 00:05:10,009 As it turns out, there's an article, 107 00:05:10,029 --> 00:05:13,849 on how to get over a breakup in literally every issue. 108 00:05:14,663 --> 00:05:17,882 Anyway, it suggests that I set these on fire, 109 00:05:17,914 --> 00:05:22,965 but the smell of burning books reminds me of church picnics in East Texas. 110 00:05:24,719 --> 00:05:26,268 - What's this? - Oh, 111 00:05:26,287 --> 00:05:29,769 that's just a doodle of a hyperelliptic Riemann surface. 112 00:05:29,782 --> 00:05:33,004 Oh, yeah. Wasn't that the basis of your postdoc fellowship? 113 00:05:33,024 --> 00:05:34,697 It was. 114 00:05:34,724 --> 00:05:37,244 - This seemed so elegant at the time, - (chuckles) 115 00:05:37,251 --> 00:05:40,878 but... now I realize I was just a simple country boy 116 00:05:40,904 --> 00:05:46,043 seduced by a big city theory with variables in all the right places. 117 00:05:47,410 --> 00:05:49,777 - It's going to be okay. - I know. 118 00:05:49,803 --> 00:05:52,111 As hard as this is, I have to move on. 119 00:05:52,135 --> 00:05:57,017 I can't keep postulating multidimensional entities and get nothing in return. 120 00:05:57,040 --> 00:05:59,216 (choking up): I have needs, too. 121 00:06:02,953 --> 00:06:04,273 (sighs) 122 00:06:04,495 --> 00:06:06,008 So, you and Emily still together? 123 00:06:06,035 --> 00:06:07,969 (Leonard and Wolowitz chuckle) 124 00:06:11,394 --> 00:06:13,361 (clanging, punching sounds on TV) 125 00:06:13,476 --> 00:06:15,683 I spoke to Bernadette. She's free tomorrow night. 126 00:06:15,702 --> 00:06:17,576 Oh, okay, great. 127 00:06:17,594 --> 00:06:19,434 But if we're really gonna do a double date, 128 00:06:19,447 --> 00:06:21,800 then we have to go over some ground rules about Emily. 129 00:06:21,820 --> 00:06:25,856 Like when it turns out she's made of rubber, I don't say anything? 130 00:06:27,803 --> 00:06:29,125 She's very real. 131 00:06:29,145 --> 00:06:32,060 Oh, that's what it says on the box. 132 00:06:33,155 --> 00:06:35,907 Right next to "dishwasher safe." 133 00:06:36,765 --> 00:06:38,836 See? This is exactly the kind of thing 134 00:06:38,843 --> 00:06:40,489 I'm worried about you saying in front of her. 135 00:06:40,509 --> 00:06:42,807 I promise I'll be on my best behavior. 136 00:06:42,827 --> 00:06:47,093 You better be. No jokes about how close I am with my dog. 137 00:06:47,110 --> 00:06:50,185 Or the truth about how close I am with my dog. 138 00:06:51,154 --> 00:06:53,852 - You got it. - No jokes about the year I took ballet. 139 00:06:53,871 --> 00:06:55,872 You took ballet? 140 00:06:56,592 --> 00:06:58,888 God, you never listen. 141 00:07:01,537 --> 00:07:03,757 Are you sure you want to do this? 142 00:07:03,773 --> 00:07:05,948 The magazine articles suggest that one of the ways 143 00:07:05,961 --> 00:07:08,386 to get over a breakup is a new look. 144 00:07:08,406 --> 00:07:12,853 Mmm. What about your old look, well-groomed ventriloquist doll? 145 00:07:14,663 --> 00:07:18,143 - "Oh, my God, I do look like that." - Stop it! 146 00:07:19,734 --> 00:07:22,134 - So, how do you want me to cut it? - Oh, 147 00:07:22,147 --> 00:07:26,573 how about Bill Gates meets Nikola Tesla? 148 00:07:27,583 --> 00:07:30,587 So, business in the front, science in the back. 149 00:07:31,541 --> 00:07:34,446 Or I don't cut it and maybe just style it a little. 150 00:07:34,464 --> 00:07:35,911 Oh, I'm in your hands. 151 00:07:35,930 --> 00:07:41,463 Do a good job and I'll tell you Cosmo's ten dynamite tips to enjoy your PMS. 152 00:07:42,538 --> 00:07:45,291 Can you keep him quiet? Maybe jangle some keys in front of him? 153 00:07:45,329 --> 00:07:49,158 That doesn't work anymore. He just thinks I'm taking him to the doctor. 154 00:07:50,592 --> 00:07:54,661 So, now that you're no longer invested in string theory, what are you gonna pursue? 155 00:07:54,674 --> 00:07:57,199 Oh, there are so many exciting areas: 156 00:07:57,234 --> 00:07:59,547 - Black holes, dark matter... - Oh, 157 00:07:59,574 --> 00:08:02,980 Leonard was telling me about dark matter, but I didn't really understand it. 158 00:08:02,999 --> 00:08:05,964 Don't feel bad. Neither does he. 159 00:08:09,438 --> 00:08:11,523 Okay... 160 00:08:11,994 --> 00:08:14,161 what do you think? 161 00:08:15,871 --> 00:08:18,735 Have you ever even seen a picture of Tesla? 162 00:08:19,569 --> 00:08:21,019 It actually looks good, Sheldon. 163 00:08:21,039 --> 00:08:23,179 - Doesn't it? - Yeah. 164 00:08:23,200 --> 00:08:27,454 I suppose I could see myself in a scientific boy band. 165 00:08:28,398 --> 00:08:31,044 Of course, I'd be the dreamy one and the smart one. 166 00:08:31,827 --> 00:08:32,860 (door opens) 167 00:08:32,876 --> 00:08:34,406 Sorry I'm late. 168 00:08:34,965 --> 00:08:36,542 What did you do? 169 00:08:36,561 --> 00:08:39,108 I gave him a new look. It's cute, huh? 170 00:08:39,135 --> 00:08:42,216 Yeah, it's cute. That's the problem. 171 00:08:42,229 --> 00:08:46,202 I don't need other girls to see him walking around like sex on a stick. 172 00:08:48,443 --> 00:08:51,273 She's right. I'm too hot. 173 00:08:55,491 --> 00:08:57,384 I'm excited to meet Emily. 174 00:08:57,420 --> 00:09:00,327 Me, too. I just hope he doesn't blow it. 175 00:09:00,356 --> 00:09:01,989 Why would you say that? 176 00:09:02,016 --> 00:09:05,224 Because he's Raj-- that's his thing. (chuckles) 177 00:09:05,482 --> 00:09:09,042 Beckham can bend it, Ralph can wreck it, Raj can blow it. 178 00:09:10,340 --> 00:09:11,920 Look, I don't want it to happen, 179 00:09:11,933 --> 00:09:15,310 but odds are he's gonna find a way to... 180 00:09:16,105 --> 00:09:18,025 Oh, crap, I know that girl. 181 00:09:18,038 --> 00:09:21,126 - How? - In a bad way, very bad. 182 00:09:21,831 --> 00:09:25,805 - Hey, guys. - Whatever you hear tonight, just remember I love you. Hey! 183 00:09:31,617 --> 00:09:34,564 Emily, these are my good friends, Howard and Bernadette. 184 00:09:34,574 --> 00:09:36,693 - Guys, this is Emily. - Nice to meet you. 185 00:09:36,713 --> 00:09:38,240 - Hi. - Hello. 186 00:09:38,256 --> 00:09:40,359 Have we met before? 187 00:09:40,925 --> 00:09:43,488 Uh... no. (chuckles) 188 00:09:43,922 --> 00:09:46,697 I-I don't... I don't... think so. 189 00:09:46,718 --> 00:09:50,413 - You sure? You look familiar. - Well, you sure don't. 190 00:09:50,427 --> 00:09:52,800 You I know, you I know, you? 191 00:09:52,837 --> 00:09:55,691 (stammers) Total stranger. 192 00:09:55,724 --> 00:09:59,217 Even if you had yummy candy, I would not get in your van. 193 00:10:00,132 --> 00:10:02,766 Did you go to that spin class on Green Street? 194 00:10:02,782 --> 00:10:04,529 That must be it. 195 00:10:04,550 --> 00:10:07,017 Since when do you go to spin class? 196 00:10:07,037 --> 00:10:09,338 Wow. Now who doesn't listen? 197 00:10:11,743 --> 00:10:14,390 Sheldon, your food's getting cold. What are you doing? 198 00:10:14,408 --> 00:10:19,010 Oh, looking through my textbooks for a new field of inquiry. 199 00:10:19,025 --> 00:10:22,442 Why do we have a geology book? 200 00:10:22,467 --> 00:10:26,767 Leonard, did you throw a children's party while I was in Texas? 201 00:10:27,626 --> 00:10:29,599 Wait. What's wrong with geology? 202 00:10:29,612 --> 00:10:31,813 Let me put this in a way you'll understand, Penny. 203 00:10:31,826 --> 00:10:33,582 You remember how you explained to me 204 00:10:33,595 --> 00:10:36,363 that the Kardashians aren't real celebrities? 205 00:10:36,382 --> 00:10:40,011 Well, geology is the Kardashians of science. 206 00:10:42,106 --> 00:10:44,835 LEONARD: Have you considered studying standard model physics? 207 00:10:44,858 --> 00:10:48,973 You want me to give up string theory for something that's less advanced? 208 00:10:48,999 --> 00:10:52,955 You know, why don't you break up with Penny and start dating a brown bear? 209 00:10:54,031 --> 00:10:56,637 Like you could get a brown bear. 210 00:10:57,343 --> 00:11:00,978 Hey, I've got a good job. I could buy salmon. You don't know. 211 00:11:02,427 --> 00:11:04,076 Maybe you could make your new field of study 212 00:11:04,102 --> 00:11:06,043 the calculation of nuclear matrix elements. 213 00:11:06,065 --> 00:11:07,296 Oh, please. 214 00:11:07,315 --> 00:11:10,857 If I wanted to take up a fad, I'd get a tramp stamp. 215 00:11:14,413 --> 00:11:16,300 What about loop quantum gravity? 216 00:11:16,313 --> 00:11:18,260 (in high-pitched, fancy British voice): Oh, Duchess, look at me. 217 00:11:18,278 --> 00:11:21,306 My quantum gravity's positively loopy. 218 00:11:23,487 --> 00:11:24,721 Who's the duchess? 219 00:11:24,744 --> 00:11:27,434 One of the people that lives in his head. 220 00:11:28,373 --> 00:11:30,860 I hope he's this distraught if he ever breaks up with me. 221 00:11:30,883 --> 00:11:33,962 Well, if he does, I'll see if my bear has a friend. 222 00:11:36,194 --> 00:11:38,514 Sheldon, have you ever considered not rushing into something new? 223 00:11:38,540 --> 00:11:41,427 I mean, why don't you take your time, enjoy your freedom? 224 00:11:41,447 --> 00:11:44,720 Maybe something new to study will find you. 225 00:11:45,757 --> 00:11:47,757 That's actually not bad advice. 226 00:11:47,779 --> 00:11:50,386 You know, I didn't seek out string theory. 227 00:11:50,401 --> 00:11:53,134 It just hit me over the head one day. 228 00:11:53,167 --> 00:11:54,501 How does that happen? 229 00:11:54,521 --> 00:11:56,889 A bully chased me through the school library 230 00:11:56,915 --> 00:11:59,921 and hit me over the head with the biggest book he could find. 231 00:12:00,986 --> 00:12:04,166 Okay, how about we toast your newfound freedom? 232 00:12:04,195 --> 00:12:06,869 Ah, normally I refrain from alcohol, 233 00:12:06,889 --> 00:12:10,428 but since my cerebral cortex is twiddling its proverbial thumbs, 234 00:12:10,467 --> 00:12:14,660 why not soak it in grape juice that's been predigested by a fungus? 235 00:12:15,848 --> 00:12:18,381 And you wonder why other children beat you with books. 236 00:12:18,404 --> 00:12:20,285 Cheers! 237 00:12:23,142 --> 00:12:24,555 Emily, what do you do? 238 00:12:24,574 --> 00:12:27,393 I'm a dermatology resident at Huntington Hospital. 239 00:12:27,413 --> 00:12:28,966 Mmm, and you know what that means. 240 00:12:28,981 --> 00:12:32,478 Someone's skin's about to be softer than ever. 241 00:12:33,878 --> 00:12:37,388 This is making me crazy. I know I know you from somewhere. 242 00:12:37,410 --> 00:12:39,077 Oh, uh, Howard was an astronaut. 243 00:12:39,098 --> 00:12:41,291 - Maybe that's where you saw him. - Wow! 244 00:12:41,314 --> 00:12:43,980 That's amazing. What was that like? 245 00:12:44,002 --> 00:12:46,943 It was the most incredible experience of my life. 246 00:12:46,956 --> 00:12:49,399 Up there in the space station, you're... 247 00:12:49,425 --> 00:12:51,855 Oh, my God, I remember. 248 00:12:52,632 --> 00:12:55,206 Can I finish my astronaut story? 249 00:12:55,228 --> 00:12:56,435 It was four years ago. 250 00:12:56,448 --> 00:12:58,533 - Please don't say it. - We were set up on a blind date. 251 00:12:58,553 --> 00:13:00,480 - Please don't say it. - You came to my apartment. 252 00:13:00,493 --> 00:13:02,359 (whispers): You're saying it. 253 00:13:03,215 --> 00:13:04,308 Well, wh-what happened? 254 00:13:04,343 --> 00:13:06,491 - Yeah, what happened? - Okay, I'll say it. 255 00:13:06,532 --> 00:13:07,565 (clears his throat) 256 00:13:07,591 --> 00:13:10,465 I was on the way to pick her up. 257 00:13:10,488 --> 00:13:12,969 My stomach felt a little funny. 258 00:13:12,992 --> 00:13:16,571 When I got there, I asked if I could use her bathroom. 259 00:13:16,588 --> 00:13:18,533 Please don't say it. 260 00:13:20,912 --> 00:13:25,635 One roll of toilet paper and 20 minutes later, I was so humiliated, 261 00:13:25,664 --> 00:13:28,737 I snuck out the window and never saw her again. 262 00:13:28,757 --> 00:13:32,226 You know what else I never saw again-- my security deposit. 263 00:13:33,392 --> 00:13:37,471 I'm sorry. I tried to unclog it, but you didn't have a plunger, 264 00:13:37,490 --> 00:13:40,901 - and water was spilling out everywhere. - Right, just water. 265 00:13:42,961 --> 00:13:45,161 Look, I have felt terrible about this for years, 266 00:13:45,174 --> 00:13:49,888 and I'm glad I have the opportunity to tell you just how sorry I am. 267 00:13:49,901 --> 00:13:51,381 It's fine. 268 00:13:51,403 --> 00:13:55,072 All my friends love this story. They call you Clogzilla. 269 00:13:56,607 --> 00:14:00,428 Get it? Because you clogged up her bathroom like a radioactive monster! 270 00:14:00,466 --> 00:14:01,765 (both laughing) 271 00:14:01,947 --> 00:14:03,667 Yeah, yeah, I get it. 272 00:14:03,689 --> 00:14:07,315 - Howie. - Well, hey, it's not like cotton candy comes out of you. 273 00:14:09,982 --> 00:14:12,806 Come on, let's get you to bed. You've had a lot to drink. 274 00:14:12,825 --> 00:14:15,813 - No more than Penny. - That's what I'm saying. 275 00:14:15,821 --> 00:14:18,088 Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. 276 00:14:19,370 --> 00:14:20,870 Empty room. 277 00:14:21,100 --> 00:14:22,494 Empty room. 278 00:14:22,769 --> 00:14:24,644 Empty room. 279 00:14:25,411 --> 00:14:28,343 If somebody says "Come in," I'm gonna freak out. 280 00:14:33,623 --> 00:14:36,863 So, Emily, why did you decide to specialize in dermatology? 281 00:14:36,883 --> 00:14:38,639 I like cutting people with knives, 282 00:14:38,652 --> 00:14:42,311 and all the other jobs where you get to do that are illegal. 283 00:14:43,807 --> 00:14:45,207 You're kidding, right? 284 00:14:45,237 --> 00:14:47,467 - (close-mouthed muttering) - (laughs) 285 00:14:49,227 --> 00:14:51,234 She's scary, but it's a cute scary. 286 00:14:51,257 --> 00:14:52,757 (laughter) 287 00:14:53,218 --> 00:14:54,669 Can I say just one more thing? 288 00:14:54,694 --> 00:14:57,382 I had some kind of food poisoning that day. 289 00:14:57,402 --> 00:15:00,354 Sure, in retrospect, gas station sushi-- 290 00:15:00,386 --> 00:15:02,326 maybe not the best choice. 291 00:15:02,339 --> 00:15:05,104 Nor was climbing out your window and running away. 292 00:15:05,117 --> 00:15:07,447 But I think we can all understand how humiliating that was, 293 00:15:07,472 --> 00:15:09,492 and I'd really appreciate it if we could move on. 294 00:15:09,505 --> 00:15:10,993 Howie, we moved on a long time ago. 295 00:15:11,013 --> 00:15:13,881 - I'm just saying... - We moved on. 296 00:15:15,280 --> 00:15:17,858 Okay. Fine. 297 00:15:20,586 --> 00:15:23,039 - How's your soup? - Ah, it's all right. 298 00:15:23,059 --> 00:15:24,842 They could've filled the bowl a little more. 299 00:15:24,884 --> 00:15:27,018 (muffled laughter) 300 00:15:29,341 --> 00:15:31,428 - Excuse me. - Where are you going? 301 00:15:31,444 --> 00:15:32,631 I need some fresh air. 302 00:15:32,651 --> 00:15:34,648 - Been there. - (laughs) 303 00:15:36,368 --> 00:15:39,303 (laughing) 304 00:15:55,085 --> 00:15:57,072 Oh, no. 305 00:15:58,140 --> 00:16:00,054 What have I done? 306 00:16:24,232 --> 00:16:26,271 How you feeling? 307 00:16:26,829 --> 00:16:28,789 Not so good. 308 00:16:30,077 --> 00:16:32,973 Are you gonna introduce me to your friend? 309 00:16:33,869 --> 00:16:37,374 It's not my friend. Nothing happened. 310 00:16:38,468 --> 00:16:42,122 I don't know. I heard you reading pretty loud last night. 311 00:16:43,839 --> 00:16:45,874 Oh, dear Lord. 312 00:16:46,509 --> 00:16:49,709 - Where's Amy? - After she put you to bed, she went home. 313 00:16:49,740 --> 00:16:51,507 Oh. 314 00:16:51,533 --> 00:16:54,727 I should call her and apologize. 315 00:16:55,598 --> 00:16:57,347 Oh. 316 00:16:57,993 --> 00:16:59,966 - Oh, no. - What? 317 00:16:59,985 --> 00:17:03,549 Apparently, I called Stephen Hawking last night. 318 00:17:04,508 --> 00:17:06,361 FEMALE VOICE: First new message. 319 00:17:06,388 --> 00:17:08,920 SHELDON: Hawkman! 320 00:17:09,753 --> 00:17:13,125 It's your old buddy Sheldonoscopy! 321 00:17:14,417 --> 00:17:16,890 How come you didn't pick up the phone?! 322 00:17:16,907 --> 00:17:19,358 Oh, right. My bad. 323 00:17:24,754 --> 00:17:27,730 You're awful quiet. Everything okay? 324 00:17:27,757 --> 00:17:29,183 Not really. 325 00:17:29,210 --> 00:17:32,070 I had a bit of an embarrassing evening. 326 00:17:32,089 --> 00:17:35,152 Ugh. Me, too. What happened? 327 00:17:35,179 --> 00:17:41,934 I drank alcohol and may have left an unfortunate voice mail for Stephen Hawking. 328 00:17:42,965 --> 00:17:46,515 I wouldn't worry about it. He's got a pretty good sense of humor. 329 00:17:46,541 --> 00:17:49,424 Oh, I hope so. 330 00:17:49,453 --> 00:17:51,346 What happened to you last night? 331 00:17:51,364 --> 00:17:56,337 Oh, well, turns out I'd already met the girl Raj is seeing 332 00:17:56,357 --> 00:17:59,802 when I did a number on her bathroom. 333 00:18:02,872 --> 00:18:05,253 And that number was two. 334 00:18:08,043 --> 00:18:10,386 Well, you know, I've always been a fan 335 00:18:10,412 --> 00:18:14,879 of a story told by Attar of Nishapur, about a king 336 00:18:14,911 --> 00:18:17,524 who assembled a group of wise men 337 00:18:17,537 --> 00:18:21,410 to create a ring that would make him happy when he was sad. 338 00:18:21,423 --> 00:18:27,616 And that ring was inscribed with the phrase, "This too shall pass." 339 00:18:28,464 --> 00:18:31,071 - Hey, Cooper! - Oh, my God. 340 00:18:31,084 --> 00:18:34,614 I heard you drunk-dialed Stephen Hawking last night? 341 00:18:35,371 --> 00:18:38,766 - Classic! - Get out of here, Barry. 342 00:18:38,789 --> 00:18:42,148 Whatever you say... Clogzilla. 343 00:18:45,827 --> 00:18:48,289 Clogzilla. That's pretty funny. 344 00:18:49,798 --> 00:18:52,459 I don't think that's gonna pass. 345 00:18:58,413 --> 00:18:59,906 FEMALE VOICE: Next message. 346 00:18:59,922 --> 00:19:01,701 SHELDON: It's me again! 347 00:19:01,717 --> 00:19:04,050 I gave up string theory. 348 00:19:04,079 --> 00:19:08,966 You should give up black holes, and we can totally solve crimes together! 349 00:19:10,605 --> 00:19:11,978 FEMALE VOICE: Next message. 350 00:19:12,004 --> 00:19:14,244 SHELDON: Do you know what's great?! 351 00:19:14,263 --> 00:19:17,403 Geology. Oh! 352 00:19:18,327 --> 00:19:20,267 Look at this geode! 353 00:19:20,276 --> 00:19:22,429 (gasps) That's fun to say! 354 00:19:22,451 --> 00:19:26,753 Gee... ode! Gee... ode! 355 00:19:27,241 --> 00:19:28,628 FEMALE VOICE: Next message. 356 00:19:28,645 --> 00:19:31,298 SHELDON: Gee... ode! 357 00:19:31,320 --> 00:19:33,821 Gee... ode! 358 00:19:34,050 --> 00:19:36,475 I kiss girls now. 359 00:19:38,086 --> 00:19:39,286 FEMALE VOICE: Next message. 360 00:19:39,308 --> 00:19:41,035 SHELDON: Hey, guess who I am! 361 00:19:41,057 --> 00:19:44,881 Beep bop boop bop! I'm you! Get it?! 362 00:19:46,434 --> 00:19:47,889 FEMALE VOICE: Next message. 363 00:19:47,904 --> 00:19:50,137 SHELDON: Are you mad at me? 364 00:19:50,813 --> 00:19:56,291 Oh, no, you're mad at me. I'm so sorry! 365 00:19:56,845 --> 00:19:58,698 Beep bop boop bop. 366 00:19:59,614 --> 00:20:00,974 FEMALE VOICE: Next message. 367 00:20:00,996 --> 00:20:06,445 SHELDON: Thiospinel sulfide. Thiospinel sulfide. 368 00:20:06,474 --> 00:20:09,942 That's even more fun than "gee... ode." 369 00:20:10,915 --> 00:20:13,708 Hey, did you see The Lego Movie? 370 00:20:16,452 --> 00:20:18,544 STEPHEN HAWKING: What a jackass. 371 00:20:19,361 --> 00:20:24,361 == sync, corrected by elderman == @elder_man Resync for WEB-DL by Norther